How to Show Love to Your Husband

by Veronika Tait
February 9, 2019

Here you are again. Trying to decide the best way to show love to your husband. What will it be this year? A card? A fancy dinner? What can you give that will convey the meaning of your love and friendship? Perusing around Pinterest it would seem he needs a time-intensive hand-carved cutting board or an expensive watch with your anniversary engraved on it. Let’s be honest, most men don’t care. Men are practical. They have simple needs.

Here are 5 meaningful ways to show love to your husband, and the best part is, they’re free!

1. Listen to Him

Ok ladies. This is the time you can’t phone it in when he tells you his boring work stories. Or when he drones on and on about sports or cars. Stop Instagramming and look him in the eyes. Be engaged with what he is saying. Share in his passions and be supportive! Researchers found that empathizing with each other’s negative emotions improved relationship satisfaction, but empathizing with positive emotions was 5 times stronger! Perhaps you don’t understand why he’s so excited about another freaking Star Wars movie, but today, be excited by his side.

2. Treat Him Like a Hero

This is his day to feel appreciated for all he does for you and the family. Even if you’re not on the best of terms, actively trying to point out the good will get easier the more you try. Psychologist John Gottman (previously discussed here) suggests at least 5 positive interactions with your spouse for every 1 negative. This should especially be the case on special occasions. Is he perfect? No. But letting him feel your love and appreciation will go a lot farther in the end than nagging and shaming. These do not inspire anyone to do better.

3. Free Him of Kid-Duties

Lift whatever burdens you can in this regard. Do the dressing, bathing, feeding, cleaning, etc. Think of your dream day without the mundane tasks and give that to man you love.

4. Give Him Alone Time

Does the hubby want to catch up on football games? Let him! Does he want to play World of Warcraft in the basement for a few hours? Let him! This is often what’s valued over another neck tie, coffee mug, or bottle opener.

5. Give Him Alone Time with You

By this I mean a little “nap time” in the bedroom together. This is another area where it may not mean as much to you as it does to him, but it’s not about you. In Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, she discussed just how vulnerable men are when it comes to sex. She describes a group discussion with men about intimacy saying, A middle-aged man in the group joined in, staring straight down at his desk. “It’s true. When you want to be with us…in that way…it makes us feel more worthy. We stand a little taller. Believe in ourselves more. I don’t know why but it’s true. And I’ve been married since I was eighteen. It still feels that way with my wife. This message resonates with a lot of men. Help him feel how much you love him by prioritizing his need to feel connection and total acceptance.

Husbands come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe they’re trendy, techie, or outdoorsy, but all men enjoy feeling appreciated. Forget giving junk and show love to your husband in these 5 impactful ways. Move past all the ads constantly trying to convince of what is really going to make your spouse happy. In the end, his lasting happiness will come from a loving relationship. These 5 ways to show love to your husband are inexpensive, but joy is in the little things.

Veronika Tait

Veronika Tait is the proud mother of two little ones. She earned her PhD in Social Psychology at Brigham Young University and currently teaches psychology courses at two universities in Utah. When she’s not singing Broadway show tunes in her shower, she’s reading psychology books, researching decision making, conducting Story Time at her local library, or volunteering with political groups.

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